The moment I stepped onto the Cerritos’ command deck, the atmosphere shifted - every eye silently weighing me up. With Admiral Carol Freeman’s promotion, her daughter Beckett Mariner’s reckless freedom grew unchecked, casting a shadow over the crew.

Chaos reigned below decks; the junior officers’ rebellion was complete, and respect for command was all but lost. The admiral’s daughter lived for rule-breaking, her antics pushing boundaries and breaking down the very structure that kept order.

My arrival as the new captain was the spark that ignited a fierce battle for control. To regain control, I had to stand firm against Beckett’s audacity and remind the crew who really held power. The ship’s lively anarchy began to give way to tense order as I tightened control.

Taking charge revealed that leadership demanded more than commands; it required understanding and dominance. With order restored, the Cerritos stands ready to face any challenge, its crew united under my command. It’s time to take the reins, tame the insubordinate, and show what kind of leader you really are.

The anti-bullying protocol line got me. That's the whole game, basically. You're on the Enterprise, or some corner of it, and the computer just lets you walk up to a hologram of Leah Brahms and fuck her. No puzzles, no dialogue trees, maybe two minutes of walking if you get lost in the corridor. It's an RPG Maker thing, so the graphics are those tiny chunky sprites, but the sex scene switches to a bigger static image. The whole thing feels like someone found a loophole in a holodeck safety manual and built a game around it.

The inclusivity angle is... absent. It's a straight male power fantasy about overriding consent protocols, which, yeah, that's the joke, but it lands weird. You're not seducing anyone, you're just disabling the thing that would tell you to stop. As a queer watcher, I kept thinking how much more interesting it would be if the hologram had any agency, or if you could pick your own body, or if the computer judged you. But no, it's a two minute wank with a Star Trek skin.

The pacing is like a microwave burrito. Cold in the middle, hot on the edges, over before you realize you're still hungry. You walk left, you walk right, you press a button, and then there's a naked hologram. The erotic appeal is entirely in the idea, not the execution. The sprite work is functional, the sex image is okay, but nothing moves. It's a flash game from 2003 that forgot to be ashamed of itself.

I wish the game had leaned harder into the weirdness. Like, what if the anti-bullying protocols fought back? What if Leah Brahms had a safeword? But it won't be that. It's a proof of concept, a joke with a cumshot. And honestly, for what it is, it's fine. Just don't expect a conversation about boundaries.

The loading screen alone. A crudely drawn starship with what looks like a penis welded to the nacelle. I sat there staring at it for a solid minute before I even clicked start. This whole thing feels like someone found a bootleg Star Trek coloring book from 1997 and just ran with it, and honestly? That’s the energy I needed after a long day. You play as 6 of 9, which is already such a stupidly perfect name, and you’re just clicking through these absolutely unhinged scenarios on the ship. Spook is there, but he’s aggressively gay and keeps trying to drag you to his homo deck. I’m not making that up. There’s a literal button for it.

The scene that got me though, the one I kept going back to like an idiot, was the rear rammer machine. Spook straps into this clunky metal contraption that looks like a torture device from a medieval fair, and the animation is so janky it loops like a broken GIF. But the sound effect. Oh god. It’s this wet, rhythmic squelch that’s way too loud, like someone stirring a pot of thick stew. I laughed so hard I had to put my phone down. Then there’s Whora, a black woman who’s clearly just a palette swap of some other character, and her lesbian scene with 6 of 9 is surprisingly tender? Like, the writing suddenly gets almost poetic for two lines before a Klingon walks in and demands a blowjob. The tonal whiplash is severe.

The captain Kurt enema thing I still don’t understand. You just click a button and he bends over and there’s a hose. No buildup. No explanation. The game doesn’t care if you’re ready. The art is genuinely bad, like MS Paint bad, but the faces during the sex scenes have this dead eyed stare that makes everything ten times funnier. I wish there was more to do with the space pussy box, it’s just a one click gag and then it’s over. The doctor scene is fine, pretty standard hentai stuff, but the Kingon scene has this weird moment where the dialogue loops and you can just keep making 6 of 9 say the same line over and over while the animation plays. I did that for way too long. If you’re homophobic this game will probably give you a stroke, which is a feature not a bug.