Right, so you click. You click a lot. That's the whole deal here, Poison is throwing these... I dunno, purple poison orbs? And Ryu just stands there like a brick shithouse taking it. You tap the screen like a madman to make him block. The hitbox is a bit janky, sometimes I swear my finger was right on the orb and it still clips him. The sound effect when he gets hit is this sad little thud that makes you feel like you dropped your phone in soup.

The sprite for Poison is actually decent, they got her massive tits right, that's the main event. She does this little wiggle after each round if you win, a striptease that's more like a slideshow. Four rounds of this, each one faster, my finger started to cramp up by the third. Reminded me of playing that stupid flappy bird game years ago but with a boner, which is a weird combo. The background is just a blurry street, doesn't matter, nobody's looking at that. Wish Ryu had some expression, dude's face is blanker than my future.

After you survive, the reward is a POV blowjob scene. The loop is short, maybe 5 seconds, and it just repeats. The art style shifts a bit here, looks like a different artist maybe, Poison's tongue is a solid pink block. No sound during the scene which is a crime. Like ordering a pizza and getting just the crust. Honestly the clicker part is more engaging than the payoff, which feels backwards. The poison mechanic is just a timer, if you miss too many orbs a green bar fills up and you lose. Never figured out if there's a pattern to the orbs, just mashed like a chimp.

The proportions are completely wrong and I can't stop thinking about it. Chun Li's thighs, which should be legendary, are just... there. Normal. Meanwhile her chest is inflated to a size that would make physics professors weep. And Ryu, my boy, what did they do to you? He's this weird little chibi thing, like a Funko Pop that got left in the sun too long. His head is massive. During the doggystyle scene I kept getting distracted by how his tiny body was positioned, it's like watching a bobblehead go to town. The whole thing has this janky, unpolished feel that honestly adds something. Not polish, definitely not that. But something.

The facial scene though. That's where things get interesting. You spend way too long just undressing her, clicking around while she stands there with this blank expression. Then when you finally get to the cumshot, it lands on her face and just... sits there. No drip, no animation, just a static white splatter that looks like someone spilled correction fluid on the screen. I laughed. Not in a mean way, but in that "oh, so that's how we're doing this" way. The game doesn't even try to make it look realistic, and weirdly, that's almost refreshing? Like, we're all here for the same thing, let's not pretend this is high art.

Speaking of Chun Li being called "mommy" throughout, that's a choice. A very specific choice that the game commits to completely. The text is barely there, just enough to remind you that yes, this is happening, yes, he's obsessed, no, there's no plot beyond that. The second doggystyle scene where you finish inside her has this awkward pause before the creampie appears, like the game is buffering. Maybe it was. My browser definitely struggled. If you're going in, just accept the jank. Don't fight it. The whole thing is about 10 minutes of clicking and watching these broken dolls mash together, and honestly, for what it is, the facial expression on chibi Ryu when he finishes is worth the price of admission. Which is free. So there's that.