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Xmas is a very unique season when we obtain to hang around with every one of our previous member of the family and friends. It's a fantastic chance to reconnect with individuals we have not seen in a long period of time and make brand-new memories with them. As fantastic ways to express our appreciation and love for one an additional, we might send out cards and presents to the individuals we respect. Additionally, we might value the magic of the period in each various other's company by hanging around with our better halves. Along with delight and celebration, Xmas is a time to invest with the individuals we love over food, drinks, and laughing.

My partner looked over my shoulder and said "that's a lot of gags for a pixel art thing" and honestly, that's the whole mood. Thirty plus options just for what goes in or around the mouth. I spent maybe twenty minutes just cycling through the gagball variations, the ring gags, the tape, the weird spider ones that look like they'd leave marks. The mouth shapes underneath change everything too, from a tiny surprised O to something that looks genuinely uncomfortable. We were supposed to be making a character together but I got completely sidetracked by how the pixel eyes interact with the pupil placement. Twelve eye shapes sounds modest until you realize each one has separate pupil positioning and the dead stare you can achieve with the right combination is... something else.

The hair system is weirdly deep. Seventeen styles with three color variants each, but the way they layer with the bondage hoods and collars creates these accidental combinations that look better than the intended ones. Found a setup where a high ponytail clips through a leather mask in a way that looks deliberate, like some cyberpunk dungeon thing. The clothing has sixty plus pieces but half of them are harness variations and I'm not complaining. The single face shape limitation is bizarre though. One face. For everything. You can stretch it with the eye and mouth options but sometimes you just want a different jawline and nope, not happening.

Background selection is whatever, sixteen options that mostly serve to make your creation pop or disappear depending on how dark your outfit choices went. The foreground overlays are more interesting, chains and bars and stuff that frame the character. Made one with a full latex hood, the biggest ring gag, and this dead eyed stare that my partner said looked like a corrupted Pokémon trainer. The export function spits out a tiny PNG that's perfect for Discord avatars if you're in those kinds of servers. The whole thing runs in browser, no saves, so when you close the tab your abomination is gone forever unless you screenshot. Which feels appropriate somehow.

You know that feeling when you mod Skyrim for three days, get the physics just right on the bounce, and then realize you forgot to install any actual quests? This game is like the reverse of that. There's a whole RPG skeleton here, stats and job promotions and a clock that ticks through 24 hours, but it's all just a rickety scaffolding built around the greasy bits. I spent my first in-game week grinding "study" like a degenerate bookworm, thinking I'd unlock some galaxy brain gig. Got promoted to... middle manager. The sexiest thing in my office was the flickering fluorescent light texture. My character's sprite looked like a depressed stick figure in a tie.

Then I said fuck it and blew my savings on partying. The nightlife scenes are where the deliberate jank becomes a feature, not a bug. It's like watching two cardboard cutouts aggressively clipping into each other while a text box describes acts that would make a sailor blush. The dirty money jobs are hysterical. One moment you're a corporate drone, the next you're in some hidden back alley, and a dialogue box pops up with the most deadpan, poorly translated proposition. "Want earn cash? Do special favor." The absurdity is the point. The character portraits during these moments have this thousand yard stare that just sells the whole pathetic, horny disaster. It's the funniest thing I've seen since that Tumblr post about the horse.

The story, if you can call it that, is following "signs" to meet "special people." I followed a sign once and it led me to a glitched wall where I got stuck for five minutes. Met a special person who looked like a melted candle. We did unspeakable things. The whole experience feels like a fever dream coded in a basement, and honestly, the terrible translation is the best part. It's not good. You'll probably alt-tab to something else after twenty minutes. The grind is real, the payoff is a jpeg that looks like it was drawn with a mouse in MS Paint. I can't stop thinking about the depressed office worker sprite.

The whole thing feels like it was coded in a basement during a weekend bender, and I don't mean that as a compliment. The UI is a mess of clashing fonts and buttons that look like they were drawn in MS Paint. You play some faceless dude trying to bang every girl in a school, which, fine, that's the genre. You click around a static map of a city, grinding stats like Charisma and Strength by doing the most boring minigames imaginable. I spent ten minutes just clicking a "study" button to raise my Intelligence so I could talk to the girl in the glasses. Riveting stuff.

The dialogue reads like it was translated through three different languages and then back to English by someone who just learned the word "panties." There's a scene early on with a girl in a sailor uniform behind the gym, and the text is so clunky it almost circles back to being funny. Almost. The art is standard hentai fare, big eyes, improbable chests, the usual. But the animation, if you can call it that, is just two frames sliding back and forth. It's less a sex scene and more a tectonic plate simulation. I did like the one character with the short purple hair, she has a genuinely cute design, but then her "route" is just a series of nonsensical fetch quests that made me want to throw my mouse.

The sound design is a single 10-second loop of what I think is supposed to be a funky bassline, but it drills into your skull after five minutes. I had to mute it and put on a podcast. The new "endings" they added are just slight variations on the same three still images. There's a mechanic where you have to "collect information" by talking to random NPCs, but the hints are so vague you'll just end up clicking on every building in the city until something happens. I wish they'd just let you skip the whole stat-grinding part, but that's the whole game, so. One thing that really got me was the inventory system, it's just a list of items with no icons, and half the time the descriptions are cut off. Why even have it? I don't know. The whole thing is a horny, broken mess, and I'm probably going to play it again tomorrow to see if I can finally figure out how to unlock the nurse's scene. Don't judge me.