You ever play something where the writing feels like it was translated through three different languages, then back, then someone just typed it up while distracted? Six Serpents has that energy. It's a Harry Potter parody, except everyone's got different names and the whole setup is Salazar Slytherin casting a curse that makes everyone in the school obey him. That's the premise. And honestly? The jank is part of the appeal.

The game throws you into this magic school where you're some student, and choices pop up constantly. Do you spy on the potions teacher? Do you sneak into the restricted section? Every decision leads to a sex scene, and the art is that very specific kind of hentai where the faces are just slightly off but the bodies are drawn with incredible attention. Big tits, thick thighs, the works. There's a scene with a professor in her classroom after hours that had me genuinely surprised. She's lecturing you about dark magic, then the curse kicks in, and suddenly she's bent over her own desk, begging for it. The dialogue during that part is so blunt. "Put it in me, student." No buildup, no romance, just pure curse logic.

But then you get a scene with a fellow student in the library and it's like the writer forgot what game they were making. She's talking about homework while riding you, and the text is so dry I laughed mid fap. Not a complaint. Sometimes that's what you want.

The pacing is all over the place. One minute you're choosing between potions ingredients, the next you're balls deep in the headmistress. No warning. Like eating a meal where the appetizer is crackers and the main course is a whole roasted pig dropped on the table. I wish there was more buildup to some encounters, but the game clearly doesn't care about my wishes. The curse mechanic is barely explained, you just kind of accept that everyone's horny and compliant. There's a scene with a ghost that makes zero sense. How do you fuck a ghost? The game doesn't explain. It just happens.

Some of the parody names are so lazy I had to squint. But then you'll hit a surprisingly hot moment with the dark arts teacher and forget all about it. The student characters all blur together after a while, same body type, same desperate dialogue. I kept clicking just to see what weirdness came next.