You know that feeling when you’re smashing pumpkins and your brain just goes somewhere else entirely? Not the band, though that’s a whole other thing. This is about a Halloween witch who’s apparently been stuffed inside a gourd like some kind of sexy produce. The numbers. There are numbers everywhere. I spent way too long trying to figure out if the sequence 49555 meant something before realizing I was supposed to be clicking on the orange things.

The pole work is surprisingly competent for something that feels like it was coded during a fever dream. She wraps herself around it with this dead-eyed cosplay intensity, the costume barely hanging on. Strip mechanics are what you’d expect, click pumpkin, get a little more skin, repeat until you’re questioning your life choices. I wish there was more variation in the smashing. It’s just click, splat, click, splat. After the fifth pumpkin I started getting genuinely annoyed at how uniform they all were. The real model thing gives it this uncanny valley quality that’s both off-putting and weirdly compelling, like watching a mannequin learn to feel.

The therapist in me would say this witch has some unresolved exhibitionist tendencies, performing for an audience of zero while trapped in seasonal decorations. What kind of player gets the most from this? Someone who’s really into Halloween and also really into spreadsheets, because those numbers don’t explain themselves. Maybe they’re a code. Maybe they’re just placeholder assets the dev forgot to remove. I kept expecting a jump scare that never came, which somehow made the whole experience more unsettling than if one had. The striptease is mechanical, almost ritualistic, and I found myself clicking in rhythm with some internal beat I didn’t know I had.