Rogue’s tits have their own gravitational pull. I spent maybe twenty minutes just circling the cursor around her chest in the first area, watching the idle animation loop. The artist understood something fundamental about the X-Men parody genre, which is that the spandex is basically a suggestion. A polite fiction. Kitty Pryde phases through a wall at one point and I completely forgot what I was supposed to be doing because her ass just... defies architecture. The whole thing runs in a browser tab next to my actual work, which feels dangerously convenient.

The sandbox structure means you kind of wander around the mansion poking at things until someone takes their clothes off. Jean Grey does this thing with telekinesis that I won’t spoil but let’s say the Phoenix force isn’t the only thing rising. There’s a corruption mechanic that doesn’t really make sense. You just sort of exist near these women and they get hornier. Storm has no business being that flexible. I don’t know what the actual goal is. Something about a harem squad. I clicked through some dialogue about joining the elite team and then immediately got a handjob from Mystique who was disguised as... actually I’m still not sure. The shapeshifting creates some existential questions I wasn’t prepared for.

The monster girls show up later and things get weird. Like, anatomically ambitious weird. The mobile version chugs a bit during the more elaborate scenes, frames dropping right when you need smooth motion the most. A fantasy adventure this is not, unless your fantasy is exclusively about mutant women with improbable proportions finding excuses to touch you. The redhead representation is solid though. Jean and Rogue both get plenty of screen time. I wish Kitty had more content but that’s just personal taste. She phases through a bed at one point and nothing happens. Missed opportunity.