The calorie counter in the corner is what gets me. 47 calories per load, apparently. Liara just kneels there with her mouth open, that blue skin and those head tentacles from Mass Effect looking weirdly detailed for something this stupid. You press Z to open, C to close, X to swallow. The achievements pop up one by one, 26 of them total, and I kept going just to see what dumb name the next one would have.

The case sensitive thing though. Who thought of that? You have to hold Shift while pressing the key or it doesn't register. My pinky started cramping after achievement 14 or something. There's no warning about this anywhere, you just sit there wondering why nothing's happening until you accidentally hit the right combination. The sound when she swallows is this wet gluck noise that loops weirdly if you spam it. I spent way too long just making her open and close her mouth because the animation has this slight delay that makes it look like she's confused about what she's supposed to be doing.

Never actually played Mass Effect so I don't know if Liara would be into this calorie tracking thing. She seems pretty clinical about it honestly. Just opens up, takes it, the number ticks up. No expression change really. The parody tag makes sense I guess but it's more like someone took a character model and stuck it in a nutrition app simulator. The cumshot diet concept is exactly what it sounds like, you're literally calculating how many calories she's consuming. Achievement 26 took forever because I didn't realize you could just hold the keys instead of tapping. Dare to max out her daily intake in one sitting?