55MB for a browser game in this day and age. My router actually blinked twice, like it was confused. And what loads up is this deliberately crusty turn based fighter where you pick a parody waifu and try to strip the other parody waifu. The whole thing feels like it was coded on a calculator during detention.

The star difficulty system is a lie. Rangiku has three stars and folded like laundry, but that two star Dakki from Hoshin Engi absolutely wrecked my shit for twenty minutes straight. Her counter move timing is pure evil. You get these little attack options, a weak hit, a strong hit, a special, and a grab. The grab misses constantly. I mean constantly. The animation for it is just the sprites sliding two pixels closer then resetting. It's so janky it circles back to being hypnotic. After a win you unlock CG in this room that's just... pngs. Static, slightly off model pngs of the characters in various states. The Lenalee Lee set has one where her leg bends in a way that suggests the artist learned anatomy from a crash test dummy.

The roster is a fever dream. Soi Fon fighting Nami from One Piece while Sakura Haruno watches from the character select screen. Why is D.Gray-man here. Why is Soul Hunter here. The whole thing smells like a 2007 Newgrounds submission that somehow escaped containment. The battle backgrounds are just color gradients. Sometimes the text box covers the health bars. The sound effects are stock punches mixed with what I swear is a microwave beep. And yet. AND YET. I kept clicking rematch against that blonde Dragon Quest girl because her defense buff was genuinely interesting to play around. The core loop of guess the next move, land a special, see the clothes tear effect, it's got this greasy little dopamine hook. The CG Room fills up slowly and you start to forget how ugly the UI is. Then the game crashes on the victory screen against Dakki and you remember. No autosave. Of course no autosave.