You know that feeling when you find a game that's basically a shitpost but somehow it works? Confidant Trainer is that. It's a Persona 5 parody where you're not saving the world, you're just trying to get into Ann Takamaki's pants. The whole thing runs on this janky engine that feels like it was coded during a lunch break, and honestly that's part of the charm.

The art is straight up ripped and traced from official material, sometimes looking decent and other times like someone discovered the liquify tool for the first time. Ann's proportions shift between scenes like she's made of memory foam. But here's the thing, when the clothes start coming off, it hits different. There's this one scene where she's bent over a desk and the artist clearly spent 90% of their effort on that single ass shot. Priorities, I guess. The dialogue reads like it was translated through three different languages and then back to English by someone who learned it exclusively from hentai subtitles. "Your thing is making my inside feel strange" is an actual line and I think about it more than I should.

The trainer mechanics are barebones, just clicking through choices that barely matter until suddenly they do. You'll be grinding through the same three dialogue options wondering if anything is happening, then bam, she's calling you master and the game remembers it's supposed to be porn. The sound design is whatever, some royalty free jazz that loops until your brain melts, but the voice clips, stolen straight from the anime, are timed perfectly with the lewd moments. Hearing Ann's actual VA moan while the text describes something filthy creates this uncanny valley effect that's somehow hotter than most properly produced games. It's wrong but it works. Like eating gas station sushi and not getting sick.