The whole thing runs like someone coded it during a lunch break and then forgot about it. Clicking feels like dragging your mouse through mud, the text boxes are this weird off white that hurts after a while, and the music. God. It loops every twelve seconds and sounds like a cat walking on a cheap keyboard. But I kept playing.

The maid. Her name is something like Yuki or Yumi, I already forgot. She’s got this dead eyed stare in most scenes but then there’s this one choice path where you spill tea on her apron. The game just stops. No music glitch, just silence. She looks down, then back up, and the sprite changes, her cheeks go pink but her eyes narrow. She says “Master is very clumsy today.” The translation is busted, it sounds like a threat. Then the next screen is her on her knees, that frilly headband askew, and the whole thing is just one static image with a text box saying “She cleans the mess.” But the mess isn’t on the floor anymore. You know? The lack of animation somehow made it dirtier. My brain filled in the gaps.

Choices are a joke mostly. Pick the wrong dialogue and the girl just walks off screen and you get a black screen that says “Bad End” in Times New Roman. Not even a sad jingle. But then you reload and pick the option that’s just “...” and suddenly you’re unlocking a scene with the shy one in the library. She’s supposed to be reading but the book texture is just a blurry jpeg of what might be a pizza. She does this thing where she adjusts her glasses and the game describes her skirt getting “mysteriously shorter.” No mystery. I clicked the button. The writing is so blunt it circles back to being hilarious. “He put his thing in her place.” That’s a real line. I screenshotted it.

Wish there was a gallery mode because I’m not grinding through the slow text speed again to see the other endings. The skip button just makes the screen flicker violently. It’s a mess. A horny, barely functional mess that I’ll probably think about next time I see a feather duster.