The physics in this thing are absolutely cooked and I love it. Those balls don't bounce like anything real, they kinda float and stutter like a drunk trying to remember how gravity works. You're supposed to keep them in the air, and the whole thing feels like a bootleg Flash game from 2006 that somehow got a hentai budget. The hitboxes are pure vibes, not math. Sometimes a ball just phases through your paddle and you're like, okay, sure, that's a feature now. The actual challenge isn't skill, it's negotiating with the jank.

The reward screens though. Holy shit. The artist clearly spent all their points on anatomy and zero on the game engine. Massive, impossibly round tits that somehow have their own gravitational pull, nipples detailed enough to count pixels on, that glossy sheen like they've been oiled up for a photoshoot. The girls make these faces that are halfway between embarrassed and completely into it, mouths slightly open, eyes half-lidded. One of them bites her lip and I swear the animation loops at the exact wrong moment so she looks like she's having a stroke. It's unintentionally hilarious and somehow hotter for it. Like finding a doujin with terrible translations but the art makes you forget how to read.

I kept losing on purpose just to see what came next. That's probably the intended experience, right? The difficulty curve is a flat line until suddenly it isn't and three balls drop at once while you're distracted by the jiggle physics on the last unlock. My high score is pathetic and I don't care. This isn't a game you play for bragging rights, it's a game you alt-tab out of when someone walks in and pretend you were checking email. The sound design is just some generic plinks and a loop that sounds like elevator music composed by someone who's only heard music described to them. I forgot it was playing until I muted the tab and realized the silence was better. Still gonna leave it running in the background though. For... research.