I was organizing my external drive last night, the one with like 47 folders named "sort later" and I found a bunch of old Honey Select screenshots. That specific era of modding where everyone's Tifa had this impossible glossy skin and hair physics that went absolutely bonkers if the framerate dipped. This browser thing reminded me of that, but stripped down to just the doggystyle loop and a rhythm meter that feels like it was coded during a lunch break.

The core loop is tapping in time with her moans. Miss a beat and the animation stutters in this really jarring way, like a GIF failing to load on old Tumblr. The sound design is... a choice. Every slap echoes with this wet, exaggerated squelch that my phone speaker absolutely cannot handle in public. I had to dig out my earbuds from the bottom of my bag, the ones where only the left side works. The voice clips are on a short loop, that specific high pitched begging that FF7R fans will either find sacrilegious or exactly what they wanted from the Honeybee Inn DLC that never happened.

The physics on her ass are dialed up to eleven, jiggling with a momentum that defies the actual animation frames. It's like they prioritized that over the penetration alignment, which drifts off center if you get too fast. I wish the camera had a manual mode instead of the fixed back view. You can't even zoom in on her face, which is weird because her expression actually changes from that stoic bartender look to something way more undone. The brunette hair clips through her shoulder constantly. It's the kind of jank you just accept, like a Skyrim mod conflict you can't be bothered to fix.

There's a cum button that triggers a splash effect so poorly textured it looks like someone spilled whiteout on the screen. I laughed out loud, genuinely. Not at the porn, but at the audacity of the asset flip. It's basically a fap hero video but you're the one controlling the tempo, drilling her into the mattress until the meter maxes out. Forgot to mention the Final Fantasy victory fanfare doesn't play when you finish. Missed opportunity.