The whole thing feels like someone coded it on a phone during a lunch break, and I mean that as a compliment. Sort of. The cat girls are back, slinging insults while you try to navigate a shopping trip before Valentine's Day. Their tits are massive, physics optional, and the uniform skirts might as well be painted on. One quiz question asked me to identify a sex toy silhouette and I failed because the drawing looked more like a deformed kitchen utensil. Got called a "limp-dicked window shopper" for it. Fair.

The minigames are where it gets weirdly specific. There's this one where you're packing chocolates into a heart-shaped box and if you miss, the cat girl sighs and stretches, her shirt riding up. I kept missing on purpose. The humor lands somewhere between a shitpost and a genuine attempt at being funny. A text box once just said "nya" for three screens. I laughed. Then I didn't. Then I did again but it felt hollow, like eating candy that's mostly packaging.

Wish the quiz segments weren't so random. One moment you're guessing bra sizes, the next it's asking about flower meanings. The game doesn't care if you learn anything. It just wants you to fail so the girls can call you pathetic. Which, fine, that's the kink. But after the fifth "you'll never please a woman" I started to wonder if the developer was working through something. The sex kitten tag is misleading. There's no actual sex. Just the promise of it, dangling there like a laser pointer you can never catch. Maybe that's the point. Maybe I'm overthinking a game where a cat girl with beach-ball tits tells me my credit score is probably trash. I don't know. The shop music loops every forty seconds. It's still stuck in my head.