My phone buzzes. It's Dave from work. "yo did u see the patch notes for that new one? the scifi detective thing" I haven't. I'm three reloads deep trying to not get my dick shot off during a footjob. Let me explain.
The game opens with your apartment exploding. Standard Tuesday. Your partner's gone, Earth's a forgotten museum piece, and everyone's spread across the galaxy like butter on too much toast. The first sex scene happens almost immediately after the tutorial, which is this weirdly animated vaginal sequence with a character I still don't fully trust. The voice acting is actually decent, which caught me off guard. She says something about the criminal underworld and then her foot's in my face. I'm not complaining. The CG animation loops are smooth but sometimes the facial expressions freeze mid-moan and it looks like they're having a stroke. A sexy stroke, but still.
The mystery part is genuinely trying. You're tracking clues about your missing partner while building this harem of morally questionable women. One minute you're examining a holographic crime scene, the next you're getting a handjob from a suspect. The tonal whiplash is insane. There's this one scene where a character explains the lost history of Earth with actual pathos in her voice, and then immediately asks if you want to fuck. I said yes obviously. The graphic violence tag isn't kidding either, some of the death animations are surprisingly crunchy for a porn game. Makes the oral sex scenes feel earned somehow. Like a reward for not getting stabbed.
The humor lands about 60% of the time. Your character has this deadpan delivery that works better than it should. The futuristic setting is mostly just neon and chrome corridors, but there's a charm to how seriously it takes its own dumb plot. I still don't know what happened to Earth and at this point I'm afraid to ask. The footjob scene unlocked after a dialogue choice I made by accident and now I can't figure out how to get back to the main investigation. Dave says there's a walkthrough but where's the fun in that.