The poker hand sits there, three queens and a pair of fours, and I'm staring at the redhead's jeans. She's got this look, like she knows I'm not really thinking about the discard pile. The game says change up to three cards but honestly I just click whatever, watching her fingers move to the button of those tight jeans when I win. Real model, they say. The brunette has this black lace thing underneath her blouse that I caught a glimpse of in round two and now I can't focus on whether I should keep the king or go for the flush.

The mechanics are weirdly specific about card swapping. You pick which cards to toss and the opponent, I mean the dealer, gives you new ones. But the blonde, she shuffles so slow when you're ahead. Like she's stalling. I lost a hand once because I was too busy noticing how her lingerie strap slipped off her shoulder during the striptease animation. The game doesn't punish you for being distracted. That's the whole point, right? The poker is just... there. A thin excuse. Sometimes I forget what beats what and just hold onto face cards because they feel lucky.

Top 3 Moments You'll Want to Screenshot: when the redhead finally loses her jeans and does this little turn, the exact frame where the brunette's blouse opens and you see the lace, and that moment the blonde bites her lip right before the last card flips. The card game itself is broken in that way where the AI folds on nonsense hands sometimes. I had a pair of twos and she folded with what must have been nothing. Doesn't matter. The striptease is the real mechanic here. The poker is just clicking. I wish the animations were longer. They cut off too fast. But that one frame. You know the one.