The Linker System. Finally saved up enough creds for one, right? Whole game starts with you being this sad sack, work, sleep, same dream about a door you can't open, rinse repeat. Then you plug in and it's like, bam, generic fantasy MMO called New Heaven. Real creative naming there. But whatever, you're here for the elf titties, not a lecture on worldbuilding.

First thing I do is ignore the main quest. Obviously. Find this catgirl merchant who's got this whole tsundere thing going on, ears twitching when you pick the wrong dialogue. The affection system is actually nuts, she remembered I called her wares overpriced like three conversations later and locked me out of a sidequest. Had to reload. The personality thing says I'm a "Reluctant Hero" now which, sure, if that means I keep picking the sarcastic options while girls throw themselves at me. There's this one scene with a dark elf assassin, you can either fight her or, and I'm not kidding, the option is literally "submit." Chose that. The custom animation that followed was... look, it was a pov facefuck that had no business being that smooth. The dev made these themselves? Madman.

Oh and there's a minigame. Forgot to mention. It's like a fishing thing but you're catching... slimes? It's how you grind for rare crafting mats to unlock certain romance scenes. Spent way too long on it. The codex fills up with all the girls you've "met" which is a nice touch. What I wish was different? The leveling. It's there, numbers go up, but it feels disconnected from the actual sex. Like I'm level 12 and still can't unlock the nun's third scene because my "piety" personality stat is too low. Make it make sense. Anyway the dream door opens later and it's some cosmic horror babe. Didn't see that coming. The game forgets it's a dating sim for a second and gets all existential. Then you can bang her. Peak fiction.