I keep a folder of saves for these quiz games. Not because they're good, but because the community mods get wild. Someone ripped all the CGs from this cruise ship thing and posted them on F95zone with a patch that skips the questions entirely. The patch description just said "for research" but we all know. The base game has you playing as Nick Sanders, this photographer who looks like he bought his camera at a department store, and you're on a cruise trying to get twelve shots for some porn calendar. The girls aren't models, they're just passengers, so you have to quiz them first. Like, actual trivia questions. About what? I don't remember. Geography maybe. One question asked about the capital of Australia and I got it wrong and the girl put her top back on. That's the mechanic. You fail a quiz, you don't get the shot.

The swimsuit designs are actually decent. There's this one girl, redhead with the ridiculous proportions, her bikini looks painted on. The artist knew what they were doing with the tan lines. But the quiz part, god. You're on a luxury ocean liner and the seduction technique is multiple choice questions? I wish they'd made it about actual photography. Like framing shots or lighting choices. That won't happen though. The game is what it is.

The pickup dialogue between quizzes is so stiff it circles back to being funny. Nick says something like "your eyes remind me of the ocean we're sailing on" and the girl responds with a geography question about rivers. I screenshotted that exchange. Sent it to a dating advice column once as a joke submission. They didn't publish it. But honestly, the lesson here is that persistence matters more than charm. Nick fails upward through twelve encounters and somehow ends up with a calendar. The final image set has this one shot with the sunset behind the pool deck that's genuinely well composed. Then you remember you answered fifteen questions about world capitals to see it.