Woke up with my dick out and zero memories. Classic Tuesday. The whole amnesia thing is whatever, but the ship's AI has this tone like it's reading terms of service at me while I'm trying to figure out why there's a drawer full of vibrating plugs next to the navigation console. Character creation hits and I spend way too long on the bulge slider. Not because it matters. Because the preview angle makes it look comically large and I'm sitting there cackling like an idiot.

The first alien you meet is this towering purple guy who immediately starts talking about "biological compatibility protocols" while his tentacles do that thing. You know the thing. And the dialogue tree just lets you lean into it or play coy, but the coy option still ends with you on your knees somehow. Corruption meter ticks up. Whatever that means. The game keeps hinting at some grand conspiracy about your identity but honestly I'm more invested in whether the lactation tag shows up before or after the BDSM scene with the lizard diplomat. There's a moment where you're getting double-teamed by two different species and a text box pops up about "uncovering the truth of the Orion Sector" and I just clicked through it because the moan sound effect looped weird and I was trying to figure out if it was a bug or intentional.

The writing swings between surprisingly decent sci-fi jargon and then just the most clinical descriptions of fluids. "His genetic material interfaced with your receptor array." Sure, Jan. The virginity loss flag triggered during what I thought was just a handjob tutorial and now I'm locked out of some dialogue options I didn't even know existed. Classic. The group scenes get chaotic with the text based format, sometimes you're not sure whose appendage is where, but maybe that's the point. The female domination route unlocks way later than you'd think and by then you've already been called "good boy" by three different warlords.