Right so the blonde on the title screen already got her top off and I haven’t even clicked anything. That’s the energy. It’s one of those bubble shooter things but the bubbles are her clothes? I dunno, the logic falls apart if you think about it for more than two seconds so don’t. You aim colored balls at a cluster and when they pop, a video plays in the background. The videos are just short loops of her, real model not some anime waifu, taking off more stuff. The shooting feels like one of those old flash games your buddy would send you on MSN messenger during a slow office shift. I mean. Allegedly.

The aiming has this weird lag. Like dragging my mouse through tar. At first I thought it was intentional to make it "challenging" but no I think it's just unpolished. The ball will snap to a grid that doesn’t quite match where you aimed and you lose a life. Lives recharge slow as hell unless you do something, I still haven’t figured out what, maybe it's a bug. The sound of the balls clicking together is way too loud compared to the moaning track that plays on loop. You can't adjust the volume independently so it's either deafening plinks or silent treatment.

There’s one scene where she’s down to just this tiny black thong and the video stutters. Freezes right on her biting her lip. I sat there for maybe thirty seconds thinking the game crashed but then it caught up. The strip arcade idea is good, the execution is held together with tape. The bubble grid doesn't reset so one unlucky shot and you’re stuck watching the same three second clip of her unbuttoning a shirt for eternity. The butt physics in the victory screen are jello-y in a way real life isn't but I'm not complaining about that part.