I think my mouse has a personal vendetta against me. There I was, staring at Aiden Ashley stretching out on the couch, her red hair absolutely glowing against this dark pillow, when my hand just fucking spasms. Nine of clubs. Previous card was a jack. You know that split second where your brain screams "LOWER, YOU IDIOT" but your finger already clicked higher? Yeah. The video scrubber jumps back to her just... lounging, smirking like she knew. Elle Alexandra walks into frame in this tiny dress and suddenly I can't remember basic kindergarten card values. Is seven bigger than three? Don't ask me right now.

Something about the way Elle's brunette waves fall when she leans in to kiss Aiden makes me forget that whole probability chart I definitely wasn't calculating in my head. The hilo mechanic is brain-dead simple. Too simple. I should be breezing through this while half-watching. Instead I'm losing on a three versus a king because I got distracted by fingers tracing along a thigh. That dress rides up and I click the wrong button three times in a row. Three. My ancestors who played actual card games for money are disowning me from the afterlife.

The clip loops. Aiden and Elle on that couch, laugh at me. You never get the full scene unless you stop screwing up, which means I've seen the first thirty seconds maybe fourteen times. Whoever edited this knew exactly what they were doing, placing the least clothing right around the part where you're trying to remember if ace counts as high. The models are real, and so is my incompetence. There's no fancy animations, no branching storyline, just a video playing while my brain short circuits. I wish there was at least a counter for how many times I've clicked wrong while Elle was mid-moan. Actually, maybe I don't want that number.