The first time Curt Maddox opens his mouth you know exactly what kind of mess this is. A sheriff who won his badge in a poker game? Honey, that's not law enforcement, that's a disaster with a dick. And I'm here for every second of it.

The animation style is that specific Lesson of Passion flavor, you know the one, where everyone looks like they've been oiled up for a bodybuilding competition and the facial expressions cycle through the same three states of horny surprise. It's unpolished in a way that circles back around to being iconic. There's this one scene early on where Curt is supposed to be intimidating some outlaw and instead he just stands there with his chest glistening like a glazed donut while the dialogue tries to convince you he's a threat. The cowboy hats don't even sit right on their heads half the time. They just kind of float. I screamed.

The RPG elements are barely there but who cares. You click through dialogue trees that all lead to the same inevitable conclusion, Curt's pants coming off. The "choice" system is basically do you want to be a sleazy bastard now or a slightly more charming sleazy bastard in two minutes. There's this cowgirl character, I forget her name, who shows up with a plot about saving the town or whatever, and within three interactions Curt has somehow turned a conversation about water rights into an excuse to demonstrate his "pistol skills." The writing is so committed to its own absurdity that I can't even be mad. It's like the developers sat down and said what if we made a Western but the only thing anyone cares about is who's fucking who and also the sheriff is a drunken man-whore. That's the game. That's literally the whole game.

The sex scenes are what you'd expect from the CG hentai tag, lots of improbable positions and anatomy that defies both physics and common sense. At one point Curt seduces someone in a barn and I'm pretty sure the hay bale changed positions between scenes. Nobody bothered to fix it. I respect that level of not giving a fuck. Snake Valley isn't getting saved by heroism or justice, it's getting saved by Curt's apparently magical dick, and honestly? For a game this campy and self-aware, that tracks. Just don't expect Red Dead Redemption. Expect Red Dead Erection.