Pool felt is the wrong color. That's what keeps bugging me, the green is too bright, like a cheap app store game from 2012. Not that I'm here for the pool physics, obviously. The whole thing runs in browser, no download, and the first thing you see is this redhead in black lingerie leaning over the table with her tits practically resting on the 8-ball. She's the first opponent. You sink balls, she takes off clothes. Simple. The cue stick aiming is janky as hell though, sometimes the power bar just doesn't register and you end up tapping the white ball two inches forward while she smirks at you with that real model face they scanned or whatever.

Got stuck on the blonde for like twenty minutes because the angle calculation on the corner pocket is completely broken from the left side. I wasn't even looking at her lacy white set anymore, just muttering at the screen about collision detection. That's when you know the strip mechanic is working backwards, you're supposed to be distracted by the striptease but instead you're rage-focusing on a busted billiard simulation. There's four tables total, three girls, and the redhead, blonde, and that one with the dark hair who hangs out by the pool in the background of the menu screen. Each loss means they put something back on, which is a mechanic I've only seen in one other game and it's just as frustrating here. The arcade scoring makes no sense either, I got a perfect clear on table two and it gave me less points than when I scratched three times but made the blonde strip down to just her stockings. Priorities.

The real model thing is weird because sometimes the lighting hits their face wrong and they look like those deepfake memes from 2020. But then the redhead does this little shimmy when her bra comes off and suddenly I don't care about the texture stretching on her shoulder. There's no sound to speak of, just generic clicks, so I had my own playlist going and accidentally left a Twitch stream on in the background. Imagine trying to explain why you're sweating over a browser pool game while some guy yells about Elden Ring lore. The billiard tables themselves have different felt colors but the green one is still the worst. I keep coming back to that. It's just so aggressively green.