The first thing that hits you isn't the tits, it's the menu music. Some royalty free tropical house loop that burrows into your skull like a happy little parasite. I caught myself humming it while making coffee, which is honestly more embarrassing than anything happening on screen. Hero Party doesn't try to be polished. The 2D art has this flat, almost Flash game quality where characters look slightly different from panel to panel, like the artist was still figuring out how Raven's hood should sit or whether Storm's hair defies gravity today. And somehow that jank makes it hotter. It feels like finding someone's very dedicated sketchbook.

You're Tony Stark, obviously. Not Robert Downey Jr. Tony Stark, but the comic version where he's just a smug rich guy with a goatee and a tropical island hideaway that runs on pure ego. The management layer is weirdly compelling. You're balancing party budgets while trying to get Supergirl to notice you bought the expensive Kryptonian wine. Gwen Stacy keeps hanging around the pool area and I spent twenty minutes just clicking through dialogue trees trying to figure out if she's into me or just really bored. The seduction system isn't complicated. Pick the right option, watch the affection meter tick up, unlock a scene. But the writing has these moments where it catches you off guard. Black Cat says something genuinely funny. She-Hulk gives you a look that the artist absolutely nailed. Wonder Woman's dialogue feels like someone actually read a Wonder Woman comic once, which in this genre is practically academic research.

The sex scenes are where the rough edges either work for you or don't. Handjobs look a bit like someone's first attempt at animation, all stiff wrists and weird angles. But the creamp