Naomi is there on the screen, all blonde hair and that look, you know the one. The 3d model is... well, it's not winning any awards. Her skin has that slightly plastic sheen, like a doll left in a hot car. But the shape is right, the proportions are doing what they need to do. The game is called Grab, and that's the whole thesis statement right there. You click and you drag your cursor, a disembodied hand, across this digital woman. Her name is Naomi. The description says she's cheerful and smart but none of that is in the actual game, she just sort of breathes and stares while you poke at her.

The first click is always on the shoulder because you're pretending to be a gentleman. Then the arm. The physics are janky in a way that makes me laugh, her boob will sometimes stretch like taffy if you pull at the wrong angle. There's no real goal except to see the reactions, little canned moans and shifts. I spent a weird amount of time just making her head tilt back and forth. It felt like I was debugging a very horny mannequin. The whole thing is about as subtle as a brick through a window and I respect that. No puzzles, no story, just "here is a woman, use mouse."

I wish there was a button to just, I don't know, make her do a silly dance. Something to break the tension of my own weirdness. The lack of any real interaction beyond the groping makes it feel strangely lonely after a minute. Like being in a chat room where only you can type. But then you find the sweet spot on the cursor placement and her whole body does a little shudder and you remember why you clicked on a game literally called Grab. It's a one-handed time waster that knows exactly what it is, a digital stress ball shaped like a porn star. My cat jumped on my desk during a particularly intense session of trying to click on her ear and I nearly had a heart attack.